Carrie’s thoughts on Madison, October 7, 2005.
I often think about the obstacles life has brought to so many of us, of how many times during those times any of us could have given up and just called it quits. But none of us have ever done that, instead we have kept going and muddled through the toughest times. Six years ago Kim and our family faced one of the hardest things imaginable. Something that would bring any mother to her knees. But instead of crumbling, even though I am sure there were times when she wanted to, Kim marched on. She stood tall and defended her child, stood strong and faced the heartache and pain and found the sunlight for her daughter. She held on tightly to Madison, and walking side-by-side with Sue, holding the hands of her sons, Kim faced so much and never gave up. It was through Kim that I saw first hand what a mother will do for her child, when the love is there to get her through. I think that through her bravery during it all, her compassion and determination, Kim has taught us all how to truly love our children. How to hold on to them with both hands. For that I admire Kim, and I thank Kim.
Madison has taught us each our own little lessons, too. For me that lesson was simple- but at the same time- one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn. It is just this: life is a gift. On the days when I don’t want to get out of bed, don’t want to face the day, her lesson comes to mind, and I quickly realize I have another day to hug my kids. I have another day to play with them and enjoy their laughter and watch them sleep.She taught me to take every memory in , etch it in my mind, and get out of bed and live my life. Its not always the easy thing to do, this life stuff can really throw you some curve balls. Sometimes I get so angry I want to stomp my feet like a child. Angry at the injustices, angry at the hardships, and even angry at God. Sometimes I feel as though He has left our family out in the cold so many times. But Madison taught us that anger doesn’t do any of us any good, it just wastes precious time and takes away from seeing what is really there for us to see. Oh how much that precious child gave us! How honored I feel to have known Madison. How proud I am of her, and how I smile when I think of her whole again and looking down on us. Watching over Joey and Noah, her Mom and Cato, her Nanna, her careful nurses, and her beautiful Aunt Cindy. Watching over all of us who loved her so much. It feels as if she is hoping we take her precious memories and hold them dear and never forget the gifts she gave each one of us.
Madison’s story will live on, our love for her will never end, and we will continue to educate others and tell Madison’s story. I can only hope that it is in that way that we can give back to the little girl who gave all of us so much.
Written by Cari, Madison’s second cousin. October 7, 2005 for Madison's Memorial
